Agent P Is Discovered (Again)
by C. O. Rosette
Summary: After being discovered by Phineas and Ferb one time already, Perry the platypus isn't about to let it happen again. But what if the circumstances were different this time around and he was discovered in a less stressful environment. Phineas is sure he saw his pet platypus put on a fedora, but his friends just say he's going insane. Now he knows how Candace feels.
1. Chapter 1

It is another boring, summer day and Phineas Flynn, Ferb Fletcher, and Perry Flynn-Fletcher again spend the morning lying lazily under their backyard tree. "Gee, Ferb, it sure is boring around here," Phineas exclaims in the most sluggish manner he's done all summer. Ferb says nothing as usual. Suddenly they hear a faint and mysterious sound coming from inside the house. "Ferb, did you hear that?" Phineas holds his hand by his ear in the direction of the house. Ferb does so as well while still maintaining that look of blank aloofness just like always. The sound seems to be steadily getting louder and louder. Then the screen door to the backyard suddenly opens and Phineas and Ferb look to the house. "It sounds like...sobbing! Someone's crying Ferb." Just then, their dad, Lawrence Fletcher, steps out onto the patio, holding the newspaper and bawling profusely. "Dad, why are you crying?" Phineas sits up to get a closer look at his dad.

Lawrence slides his wrist across his face to wipe away the tears, but he still has trouble speaking over the frequent and spontaneous sobs that interrupt his speach, "Oh, boys, I read the most tragic thing in the paper!"

"About what?" Phineas asks inquisitively, standing up as his curiosity finally gets the best of him. They might have finally found something to do today.

Shaking between sobs, their father struggles to splutter out, "D-did you see how many children there are that are in need of organ transplants but don't have anyone willing too lend them any?" He holds the newspaper up for them to see but the headline is impossible to read with his hand shaking so much. It doesn't matter anyway. Lawrence just drops it the second after and begins a new round of blubbering. "I-I-I'm sorry, boys, but I no matter how hard I try, I can't stop crying! IT'S JUST SO SAAAAD!" With that, he bursts into a whole new batch of tears and runs back into the house, shutting the screen door behind him.

Phineas, Ferb, and Perry watch him go crying off. Phineas stands there for while, even after their dad is long gone, though they can still hear his muffled sobs along with their mom's exasperated sighs from inside their bedroom. After a moment, Phineas turns to his brother and platypus and says faintly and solemnly, "Ferb, I know what we're going to do today..."

* * *

Meanwhile, Linda Flynn, Lawrence's wife and Candace, Ferb, and Phineas's mom walks out the front door of the house to the car dressed in sexy S&M gear.

Candace is in the backroom talking with Stacy when she sees her mom walk to the car. She is slouched down on their rocking chair so she can barely see above the windowpane and only catches the top her red hair. She does notice, however, that she has a completely different hairdo from the norm, which is weird because Linda is a very modest woman. She doesn't regularly change her everyday appearance unless it's a very _very _special occasion. Candace might want to just stay out of this one. "Yeah, Stacy, Jeremy _did _say he had stuff to do, so we couldn't really hang out," Candace says to the phone. "He better not be seeing someone else behind my back!"

"I swear, Candace, you are waaaaayyyy too possessive of that dude," Stacy says on the other end.

But Candace isn't listening anymore now that she sees her mom leaving, "Um, let me put you on hold for a sec, alright, Stace?" Candace sets the phone down and wanders outside. She arrives out the front door and makes her way to the driveway. She approaches Linda, who is rummaging through the car's trunk so her back is turned to her daughter. "Mom, how come you never told me you were leaving? That means I'm automatically in charge, right? Wait, hold on, of course that's what it means! I'm the oldest!"

Her mother sighs, exasperated, "See, this is exactly why I didn't want you to see me. I knew you'd run out, asking me a whole bunch of questions and then I'd be forced to tell you I'll be gone all night and _then_ you'll obsess over being in charge like you always do!" She turns around to face her daughter. At the sight of Linda's horrific S&M gear, Candace's mouth drops open and her eyes go wide. She is stuck in place, the shock leaving her unable to move. Her mom notices this and gets a whole new kind of exasperated look on her face. "Oh, please, Candace. Not this."

"AAAAAAAAAAAH!" Linda is cut off by Candace's sharp scream. She finally finds movement in her legs and sprints back into the house, down the hall and stairs, into the basement and a box in the basement, down a ladder, and into the panic room where she once again grabs her long, worn-out, stuffed bear and clings onto it for dear life.

Up above in the living room, her forgotten cell phone remains dormant. "Candace! Candace, are you there?" Stacy's voice calls out confusedly, still waiting on the other end.

Back outside, her mom just keeps that annoyed look on her face, "Honestly, Candace, have a little maturity." She checks her outfit thoroughly up and down for the first time self-consciously. "I don't look that hideous in this thing, do I?"

* * *

Phineas and Ferb decide to get going with what they're going to do today when Phineas suddenly gets a very strange feeling that something is missing. He stops what he's doing to think for a moment. He looks up at Ferb who's still gathering supplies. It doesn't look like he's forgotten anything yet. His gaze moves over to Perry, who is still there. (Of course he is. Where else would he be. He's a platypus. They don't do much.) Phineas just shrugs it off and continues to help Ferb.


	2. Chapter 2

Phineas and Ferb begin to lift a table. They need to hoist the table up to get it atop a wooden platform that they built. They slowly inch forward toward the stage. Ferb's back is to the stairs up to the platform when they finally arrive. He puts one foot on the first step and lightly shakes the heavy table, a signal to lift it up a bit more as it makes hauling it up the stairs a lot easier. But Phineas doesn't seem to be responding. When Ferb looks over at his brother, he sees him staring off into space, completely unaware of his surroundings anymore. His eyes are wide and dilated with a little bit of drool peeking out from the corner of his mouth. Ferb shakes the table a lot harder this time, nearly dropping it as the thing is already heavy enough with two people just standing there, holding it, to make his arms tired.

Phineas immediately snaps out of his self-induced trance, "Huh? What? Oh, sorry, Ferb. I drifted off for a second there."

"What's wrong?" Ferb inquires his brother, curiously raising his eyebrow as they try hard to carry the dense table up the stairs.

"I don't know, Ferb," his brother replies as they set the table down in the middle of the stage with a great sigh, happy to have the load taken from their hands. "I just get this weird feeling that some recurring event should be happening but isn't."

* * *

Back in the panic room, Candace has calmed down a bit, having heard her mother drive away. As she sits there, trembling and holding onto her knees for dear life, she doesn't believe she will ever be able to burn the atrocious sight of her mom in that horrid outfit from her mind. A sudden ring of the doorbell snaps her out of it...sort of. Making sure it's not her mom coming back because she forgot something, Candace nervously looks through a small peephole in the rooftop wall of the panic room, unsure of what she might see. She breathes a deep sigh of relief when she sees it's only Stacy.

Still shaking from her recent trauma, Candace slowly gets up and heads downstairs to the front door. She opens it to Stacy without saying a word. "Hi, Candace! I- Whoa! What happened to you!?" Stacy wonders when she sees her shaky friend's messy hair and bloodshot eyes. "You look like a hot mess. Did it have to do with your brothers?"

"I really don't want to talk about it," Candace says exhaustedly. She thinks (or hopes) she might be beginning to get over it.

"Okay, well I came over as fast as I could to see if you were alright," Stacy explains, still looking concerned for her friend. "You kind of left me hanging on the phone."

"Oh, yeah. Sorry about that," Candace says breathlessly. Then she remembers their conversation over the phone. "Oh...my...GOSH!" She grabs the startled Stacy who lets out a squeal of surprise, and pulls her close. She starts to mutter something into her ear."Remember when we were on the phone and I suspected that Jeremy was seeing someone else?"

"Yeah, and I said there's nothing to worry about. You were being so insanely possessive. No wonder he needed his space."

"He needs his space probably because he's seeing someone else!"

"Candace, you're being even more paranoid than usual. You need to chill out and relax. Jeremy is and will always be completely faithful to you and no one else. When has he ever-"

"Stacy, I need you to do me a favor! You have to follow Jeremy for me!"

"What?"

"You have to follow him and make sure he's with anyone else!"

"I'm not doing that. It's unethical!"

"Please, Stacy! It will help me a lot!"

"Why can't you do it yourself?"

"Good question. I have to take a shower." With that, Candace slams the door in Stacy's face. Stacy turns her back to the Flynn-Fletcher house, sighs, and starts to walk in the direction of Jeremy's house.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the backyard, Phineas and Ferb have several, foreign businessmen and women transport a the required materials needed for today's project, a few of which include a kit of assorted, dissection equipment, a liability waver, and a large cooler. "Thank you for all your help!" Phineas calls from a megaphone from upon the stage next to Ferb. "To answer the question of whether we need a professional biologist, no thank you. We'll be doing all the biology we need ourselves with the help of our good friends. Ten percent of however much we make out of this will go to each of your families. Good luck and goodbye." The businesspeople take their leave, shaking the boys' hands as they all file out the backyard, all the while still talking with their colleagues on cell phones in various languages.

Candace is making her way back up the stairs to the bathroom when she looks out the window and spots the businesspeople coming from the backyard. She narrows her eyes, "What are those boys up to now?" Suddenly she hears the familiar blasting of Elephant by Tame Impala, her phone's ringtone. Her eyes widen. Maybe it's Stacy with news on Jeremy! As quickly as she can, Candace rushes back down the stairs and into the living room, this time failing completely to notice that hey brothers are taking a live brain out of a cooler just outside the window.

Candace picks up her still ringing phone off of the rocking chair. Without looking at who it is, she slides the "talk" button, "Stacy! Did you find him?"

But the voice she hears back at her is not the one she expected, "Hello? Candace?"

Candace's jaw drops open, "J-Jeremy?"

This time, Jeremy stands in front of the Flynn-Fletcher house, holding his phone with Candace on it. He watches as the foreign businesspeople exit the backyard wearing bewildered looks on their faces. Splashes of red stain the fence and drip down onto the lawn and concrete. Some quite disturbing squishing sounds come from within the confines of the fence that Jeremy is not quite sure he wants to know are triggered by and the stench smells of his old biology class when they dissected those rats. He slowly brings the phone up to his mouth and speaks, "Uh, Candace? You might want to come have a look at the this."


	3. Chapter 3

"Oh my gosh!" Candace squeals, going red in the face. It's a good thing Jeremy can't see her. But where is he? Wait a minute. He told her to come look at something! That must mean...uh oh. "Oh! Uh...Sure, Jeremy! I'll be right out." Crud. Immediately, Candace starts to panic. Oh my gosh, she thinks to herself. What do I do? He's outside my house!

"Candace?" she hears Jeremy call her name, questioningly. "Candace, get out here!"

"Coming, Jeremy!" Candace calls and rushes down the latter from the attic and back downstairs. Without thinking, she slips on her moms, green, evening, overcoat that makes whoever wears it look like one of those undercover people in the movies off the rack and bursts through the front door. Jeremy's there, but there's something really weird about his expression. It almost looks...scared? "Oh no! Jeremy, what happened? Did someone try to hurt you-WOAH!" Candace starts to run towards Jeremy but slips on a puddle of blood in the middle of the sidewalk. "Wait. What is this? Blood!? Omigod! It is blood!" Candace frantically stands up from her position on the ground, covered in blood as Jeremy watches her with a worried face. "Phineas and Ferb! They're the only ones that could've done this!"

"What!?" Jeremy is completely baffled. He follows Candace to the backyard door where she finally sees all the blood splattered and still dripping down onto the grass and sidewalk.

Seemingly even more enraged, Candace furiously undoes the lock on the door and kicks it in so hard Jeremy at first thinks it will fly of the hinges, "Phineas Flynn and Ferb Fletcher, you boys are so busted! It's not even noon yet and your already killing people!"

The boys look up from pulling little bits of cortex out of the brain they took out earlier on the table up onstage, "Oh, hey Candace. Hi Jeremy."

Phineas stops working on the brain and hops off the stage to talk to his sister, "No. We're not killing anyone, Candace. We're just harvesting already dead people's organs! See?" Ferb turns around holds out the brain they're currently working on to Candace and Jeremy.

The two teenagers stare wide-eyed and open-mouthed at the human cerebrum. Bits of pons hang loosely from it while red fluid still drips from it and onto Ferb's glove and eventually down his arm. This sets Candace miles off the handle. After seeing all the lab equipment, dissection tools, corpses brought in from the morgue, more blood splattered everywhere, an assortment of various human organs, and about ten coolers probably holding even more organs strewn about the backyard, her eyes seemingly grow red and she starts to foam at the mouth, "This is atrocious! Organ harvesting! Really? You guys have driven me up a thirty-foot wall your whole lives, but this! THIS! Honestly, I expected better even from you guys."

"But Candace, we're donating them to the children that need organ transplants but can't afford them! Besides, we have permission," Phineas tries to reason with his sister, holding up a signed contract from the tri-state area council, but Candace isn't listening.

She grabs Jeremy, who winces under her surprisingly strong grip. Her voice shakes, "Ooooooh. When Mom finds out about this, you guys are gonna be in sooo much trouble." She turns around and drags a petrified Jeremy through the gate, screaming all the way. "When Mom and Dad find out about this you boys are going straight to jail...or even better, the ASYLUM!"

Phineas and Ferb watch them go with slightly confused but mostly blank expressions before getting right back to what they were doing before, "Alright Ferb are you almost done removing the cerebral cortex yet?" Ferb nods. "Great! That means we can get started wrapping the kidneys!"

Isabella walks down the street toward the Flynn-Fletcher house because for some reason that's currently the go-to place. All is well and she happy because she's going to see her boyfriend so she skips along with her eyes closed until an oblivious Candace who still drags Jeremy along smacks right into her. Isabella bounces off Candace and lands on the sidewalk with a loud thump. Candace falls forward on top of her, covering her completely and pulling Jeremy down as well, making him fall on top of her. "Oof!" Candace can barely move. Who knew Jeremy was so heavy? "Jeremy, get off! You're suffocating me."

"And you're suffocating me!" a muffled voice comes from underneath Candace.

"Huh?" Candace confusedly looks to see a fuchsia-colored cloth pinned beneath her body. "Oh! Sorry Isabella." Candace and Jeremy get up on their feet and help Isabella to hers.

"It's fine, I guess," Isabella replies with her eyebrow cocked. "What's the hurry, anyway?"

Candace can't bare to see Isabella's pretty face saddened by the news she bears, so she just sighs sorrowfully, "You'll find out soon enough." Her voice turns serious. "Just promise me you won't go to our house. Can you do that?"

"Why? What going on?" Isabella looks curiously up at the two teenagers. They do seem unnaturally edgy. Candace is keeping secrets as well as in the hugest hurry to get somewhere unknown while Jeremy just stands there and shakes like a leaf. If something bad happened at their house, then something may have happened to Phineas!

"Look, we really need to go. Just promise me you won't go near our house," then they hastily hurry into Candace's car and drive away. Isabella watches them go with a mix of curiosity and worry. What if Phineas is in trouble? She doesn't care what the danger is.

Hurriedly she turns around and runs in the direction of the Flynn-Fletcher house. "Don't worry, Phineas," she mutters. "I'll save you."


End file.
